![]() ![]() Have we mentioned there are spoilers in this recap? And of course, here, it hints majorly at what’s to come. ![]() This reminded me of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean, wherein they addressed the ‘what if this thing were undead too’ question. Make the bear the biggest sort, the sort that definitely eats men, and then turn it into the kind that can’t die, and you’ve got problems. They’re bigger, faster, and stronger than you, and when facing them with a sword can be daunting. Bears, and polar bears in general, are kind of scary when you think about it. If you’ve ever wondered what an undead polar bear would be like, GoT just went and answered the hypothetical question for you: fucking terrifying as all hell. “I think I preferred him in The Golden Compass, Beric!” Why aren’t they teaching the rest of them this trick? Sure, Thoros is a red priest and magic, but Beric’s not. Seeing two dudes light up their bongs swords side by side and just start straight smoking was great. Mostly this party trick has seemed pretty dated and pretty hokey. Given some screentime and less religiously zealot material, this guy is proving to be an interesting character it’s too bad he’s been absent for so long. Thank you! If he’d died after being that funny … what a waste. And, yes, some of you have been harking on his impending doom, maybe even reveling in it, and it seemed you were going to be right, only to have the producers pull a ‘just kidding’ and keep him around. Damn, what a great character they’ve made him. Basically, if he opened his mouth, you knew he was about to spit solid gold. These guys have serious problems with one another, and they put them aside rather quickly because, well, they’ve got much bigger problems. So we’re trading in a beer for Billy Bryson’s famous travel guide A Walk in the Fronzen Woods, but it holds. You’ve got to air those grievances boy! That’s what bros do: they fight and make up, usually over a beer. You hit up the local pub, throw back a few beers, and really, just hash out the shit that’s been troubling you. It was really amazing when going beyond the wall turned out to be just like a night on the town with the boys. They conquer the world.” (Tormund to the Hound) Just like you.” (the Hound to Tormund and Tormund’s retort) Gingers I hate.” / “Gingers are beautiful. “I don’t give two shits about wildlings.“You’re the one they call the Dog.” (Tormund to the Hound).Fucking is best.” (Tormund to Gendry on how to stay alive beyond the wall) That’s how things begin, anyhow, and it produced some of the most memorable lines of the series, and some humorous moments that stood out in the bleak wasteland that is the fate of most Game of Thrones characters north beyond the wall. Well, forget all that going beyond the wall now, in season 7, is just like heading to the bar with your mates for a few drinks. Going beyond the wall was a very real chance to face one’s mortality. Things quickly got weird, and sort of frightening. Remember when Game of Thrones started? Back in the very first episode, before you knew just how crazy this journey would get, there were three brothers north of the wall who found some slaughtered wildlings. ![]() Let’s get into what happened, what was great, and what made me pull out my little remaining hair.Īnd to those of you who watched this a week early when the episode was leaked online, thank you for not spoiling it for the rest of us. The episode starts strongly, following our band of frozen questers north of the wall, but as obvious plot points were ticked off down a checklist of suspected happenings, and improbable travelings, it faded from prominence to one I’d rather forget. There are perfunctory throwaways to Dragonstone to establish where Danny is, and we get glimpses of the political jockeying unfolding at Winterfell, but the episode serves to move this game forward so that the now inevitable meeting to persuade the Lannisters can take place, and set up the final season, the battle between life and death, fire and ice. “Beyond the Wall,” the penultimate episode in HBO’s seventh season of Game of Thrones, concentrates its energies in one place, the north, with much of the action taking place exactly where its title suggests, beyond the wall. ![]()
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